Monday, July 28, 2014

Best Friend

Yes, it is OK. Let me explain little bit about this theme according my experiences that I write them below.
What does the best friends mean for me? If I consider them as my best friends, they should be the persons that I can trust one hundred percent. I should be able to confide in them knowing that they will not spread my news to other people. They are also the place where I feel comfortable to talk to and get the great support from. There are some criterias that I consider someone becomes my best friend. He/she is a loyal person, a good listener, a trustworthy person, spending time together, caring about me, avoid expectations and being himself/herself without pretending to make me like her/him.
I had several best friends and some close friends in Indonesia. They were the friends where I always came to share anytime I needed. They were also good listeners and they were never bored everytime I shared about something. As a human being, I need someone to talk to. I felt good everytime I had talked to them although I knew it didn't solve my problems but it could give me the fresh energy in facing my problems. They were my great friends I ever had in my life. Through them, I got the supports from their prayers, their inputs and advices.
After I moved to USA, I felt something lost. It was my best friends and close friends. Although we still keep in touch till right now via phone and email but it can not substitute the quality of the conversation if we meet and talk each other face to face.
After I married, my husband has been my best friend. He is the place where I can go to tell my sadness, my happiness, my worryness, my dreams, my feelings, etc. He is also the place where I want to laugh together, to share everything and also the place where I want to throw my anger, my disappointed, etc. What a perfect best friend! If before I had some friends with different characters and different purposes to tell about, right now I just have one person, a place where I can tell everything.
I know he is not a perfect person because there are nobody perfect but I believe he is the best person God has given me to be my husband. As a husband that God has given to me, he should be a safe place whenever and wherever I want to talk about and to talk to. Trust is a single miracle word that can build the healthy relationship in the marriage life. Without TRUST, how can the marriage life will be survive?
On Sunday, October 5th, it was our sixth Anniversary. There were no special present I wanted to expect beside a HOPE that my husband would be always my best friend forever and ever.(*)
Published at Helium, October 21, 2008

MEMOIRS: Living Abroad being an Expatriate

Being an expatriate who lives in the US was never in my desire but it was a life that we never knew what was happened in our future life especially if we talked about our soulmate.
Having many friends from abroad were always excited. Many new things I could learn from them, but having a serious relationship with someone from different country was more excited and the most challenging.
After many things to do to apply the fiance visa, from many immunitations that took around one year, medical check up and interview, I was sure my fiancee was the one person who would be my husband soon.
I felt my tears when the airplane took off from Juanda Airport, Surabaya. At that time I realized that I would be so far away from my family and my best friends. But I had one giant faith, that HE would never leave me alone. If He gave him to me to be my future husband, then I would never has a doubt at all to give my whole life in His hands to live and share my life with my soulmate.
When the first time I stepped my feet on USA earth, I knew there were many challenges I would face. I had been ready since I started knowing that my fiance (my husband) told me that he had sent all the fiance visa application to INS in USA and had been approved and they sent them to USA Embassy in Jakarta, Indonesia.
The first impression I had at my arrival was the rule how to get on the line when I had to report at the non US citizen arrival centre and met an INS officer to give a thick-large envelope of my private informations from USA Embassy in Jakarta to INS Officer. I felt really nervous but everything was just fine.
The second impression was the weather. Although at that time was in August (summer) but it was still chilly for me when the evening came.
On the 3rd month of my arrival, exactly on October 5th, 2002 we had simple wedding ceremony at our apartement and just some close friends and members of family attended. There were no family and friends from my site. I wish someday if God permits I will have a special traditional wedding ceremony in Indonesia. The special thing from our wedding was most of the food for our wedding celebration was the food that I cooked myself. Everybody loved them. Batik was our theme for our wedding dresses although I had prepared a special modern-traditional wedding gown for myself that I brought from Indonesia. Sonny Raji was a famous designer who designed my wedding gown. It was so beautiful. One day I'm sure I'll wear it in our second vote in front of the the Priest as God's representative on the earth.
Enjoying in playing on the snow was my 3rd impression. What is other impressions things? Many. From the kind of food they eat, the way how they pay the bills, the body posture they have are much bigger, taller and fatter than mine. That is why most of Americans think I am still a tenager. I think because of how much younger I look, slim and small body I have.
Being an Expatriate for more than 6 years in USA till right now, I still learn many new things. Life is learning for me, so I will never stop to learn many things in the new earth I live. I enjoy every different stuff I face, like and dislike. My life is so colorful, that is why there are many different and opposite things I always face and experience in my new life. Language is my priority. It took around two years for me to adjust in speaking English everyday and every word came in my brain to come out automatically as the words/sentences from my mouth. That wasn't easy but I wasn't shy to practice English in speaking. Although many mistakes I made, I was never shy to try to speak rightly. Vocabularies is very important to improve my English in conversation everyday.
Beside language, weather, food, culture, etc are different, I also had desire that one day I could have a chance to work. I was so impressed how not difficult and complicated in looking for a new job as long as we had good record and really wanted to work well. It is different with my country as the 3rd country. Because of so many people live there, the chance to get a job becomes very competitive. Finally in August 2006 I got my first job in USA, as a WALMART Associate. In the new working environment at WALMART I learn many new things from kind of company I work, departement I work, and their management. I really enjoy and like working there even I don't feel that I work at another country. Most people who work there are so friendly and it makes me more comfortable. They respect the diversity and work fairly.
One thing that I'm still difficult to find here is good and close friends. I see most Americans are not sociable like most Indonesians. But thank to God, I have good neighbourhood, some good friends at work and nice church community beside nice family from my husband's site.
Writing and blogging are two activities that help me to meet other Indonesian although just in cyber world. This is better than nothing. After I get involved as Managing Editor inwww.kabarindonesia.com I feel closer with my country although it is thousands miles away. The cyber world can make it happens. And now writing is a part of my world. Helium is a good choice for me to practice my writing in English. My dream to publish my books have just happened. Couple days ago I had launched my first Christian Children E-ook titled 'What Prayers does Mommy Teach Me?'. I was so very excited. A special blog at www.abbottsbooks.blogspot.com I made it to promote my published books. Now I am still busy to prepare a new project for www.kabarindonesia.com and my next books that I'm writing now. I believe with hard work and discipline, I will be a very good author that can publish many good books. Everybody can make it happens in USA as long as they really want to work hard to reach it.
Being an Expatriate in a super power country can be a great challenging in my whole life. Am I happy? Yes, because I am with my lovely family. Am I Sad? Yes, because I am in the thousands miles away from my family and my best friends. Do I enjoy my life? Yes, everything I do, I always enjoy it. Life is to be enjoyed, bad or good, sad or happy, like or dislike. I want my life is beautiful wherever I live especially with my lovely family.(*)
Published at Helium, November 12, 2008

POEM: My Freedom

my freedom is
when I feel free
to say 'yes' or 'no' without forcing
my freedom is
when I feel free
to stride here and there
without chasing
my freedom is
when I feel free
to run reaching my end goal
without 'in other person's way'
my freedom is
when I feel free
to express my thought for goodness
my freedom is
when I feel life
as I am on my existent
without imitation polished
beautiful outside but rotten inside
my freedom is
when I feel no pressure
enjoying my right I own
without duty careless
without breaking the rules
without hurting the others
respect to the others
respect in diversity
support the hopeless
support the goodness
hugging the free-less
love to others without intend
Published at Helium, November 18, 2008

POEM: I See My Life

in my life
sometimes
it doesn't look like what I want
it doesn't look like what I wish
and
it doesn't look like what I need
sometimes
disappointed shadows
make me like a little child
who needs a hug and attention
feeling spoiled
feeling saved
You attend at the right time
hugging me lovely
teaching me softly
lacing my life beautifully
You come with Your love
the true love I ever have
don't ever leave me
stay with me
hug me warmly and softly
love me tenderly and deeply
I feel saved in You
I feel comfortable in You
I feel confident in You
You are my only Hope
Published at Helium, November 29, 2008

POEM: Shadow

I don't want you following me
but you're still there
you don't care
I don't want you imitating me
but you still do it
you don't care
you're just quite
when I say something
no sound
no expression
when I touch you
you're there
you don't touch me back
why?
you should touch me back
but you don't
are you shy?
but you still follow me
you still imitate me
you bother me
you're still there
you don't care
I think you just want to be like me
following me
imitating me
are they fun?
Published at Helium, November 20, 2008

Tribute to My Dad on Fathers Day

I am Indonesian who live in USA and married with American. In Indonesia we don't celebrate Father's Day but talking about Father's Day is interesting to me, automatically our mind will focus to our Father. What does Father mean to you? I believe there would be many options about this question and through this writing I would like to share several good and impressed things about my Father.
Some friends asked me how I could be so focus, discipline enough, good in study, free but straight on the line, a hard worker, etc. The answer is because I had seen a lot of examples from my father. As a human being, of course he had several minuses but I always noticed the pluses he had and never counted his minuses, so they might not affect my life. Also he had trained me about discipline when I was still a little child. Although sometimes it made me feel not comfortable but finally I knew the good things always came from the things that we had to pay it before.
The most impressive thing that he ever taught me was how I had to use the time for the useful things, and the several impressive acts was how he worked so hard and was so smart in making money to reach his goal for his family needs especially for his children educations.
But if someone asked me about what the gifts/presents you had gotten from him, this would make me confused to answer because honestly he never gave me a gift/present to my Birthday, Christmas, my graduation or etc. I just remembered he gave me a pair of the roller skate shoes and two different size of shoes pairs (adult size) when I was in the elementary school as the gifts from Dutch, a county where he went for his study in the navy. With the pure wondering question, I asked him, "Why do you give me two different sizes of adult shoes that I can not use them right now?" And he answered, "Because I want you wearing these when you are big someday and I don't know your size for the future so I bought 2 different sizes." And I responded him, "Yeah, but they have high heel. I am not sure I will be able to wear them someday." Then he commented, "You will see. They will look good on you." He was right. Now I still have it and wear it. Brown shoes with high heels. It has been around 26 years already and there had been several persons told me that they liked them when I wore them. Yes, that was the gift from him that I still have it till now and becomes a special memory for me. The roller skater shoes he gave me, it made me a famous roller skater in my residence area at that time.
The second gifts were many things from Dutch again as he came back from his second duty/study there. They were candies, jewelries toys, drawing books, coloring pens for drawing, sweaters, magazines, etc. From drawing books and coloring pens for drawing I got, they made me more interesting in drawing. From there I started to practice and practice, and made my drawing was improved.
He also taught me how became a success person. I could catch from his explanations in my version that becoming a success person could not be made instantly. It needed discipline, focusing and working hard. It meaned we needed healthy mental and spiritual to reach them. Then he explained how took care ourselves through our habits, food, and the relationship with God. A bunch of advices he gave me, it was because he wanted me becoming a success person. A success person doesn't mean to be a rich person but it means how worth I am in the family, friends and everywhere I am, at work, organization, church, etc.
I think all of the things that he had advised me I have done but actually there are something I never do it consistently like he had done before; reading a whole Bible, old and new testaments. One day he gave me an advice as a Christian should be better if I could read the whole Bible before I married and had the children. He was not sure after I married and had the children I could do it because he knew as a mother would make me busy taking care my family. Then I asked him, "Have you read the whole Bible too already?" His answer was, "Yes, when I was on the sea. Every night when I got the night shift, I went to the deck, I saw the dark sky fully with the stars, I said the prayer there for you and your brother because I could not watch you all the time. Most of my time as a Navy I spent a lot of time on the sea for the National duty. I asked God to watch you both. Then when I had more time I came inside and read the Bible."
His confession made me really quite and stunning, how impressed I was about how he loved me and my brother although he never said, "I love you" to us directly and I was so proud of him because in the middle of the night of his duty, he still had the time to communicate with HIM and he did it consistently. I had tried several times to read the Bible starting from the old testament. It worked just for couple days or several weeks and I gave up already. It was really truly difficult! It needed something extra' and I could not make it but I believe God had seen my heart and its fruits.
One day he gave me the Bible he used to read on the ship and I was little confused because the Bible still looked clean and I just saw several signs on the several verses. I asked him, "It is clean enough for a Bible that you had read all already." He explained it to me, "Yeah, because I took care it very carefully when I read it. I don't want to be dirty because it is GOD's words." Once again he made me so amazed. It was so contradictive with many statements I heard already from many Christians I knew. I heard that the cleaner Bible showed the owner more seldom read it or used it. Was it true or false? Maybe the answer could be 'yes' or 'no'. I thought it depended with how the owner treated his Bible. The most important thing, this reminded me how Christ asked us not to do like Parisian did. They wanted other people knew that they were praying to God on the corner/side of the street. But Christ asked us if we prayed, we should go to the room and praye there.
Now, every year Father's Day comes, meanwhile I am busy to help preparing my children to celebrate this special day to their Father (my husband), my mind always goes to my father who is still alive in Indonesia. He is the only one person who had taught me many good values of life. I see my brown shoes, I see the Bible, they are the great treasure of him for my life. Thank you, Dad!(*)
Published at Helium, Pebruari 8, 2009